You see, I listen, but I only let myself sink it in by myself... or in a dark backseat...
because this song makes me cry.
I see her beautiful eyes staring into mine in that village along Lake Victoria.
I listened to this song in Uganda. I breathed grace deep as I slipped a friends headphones in my ears on that bus that was our home for a week...lush land surrounding me... boda bodas flying by...while my Uncle's hands were gripping tight to the steering wheel I listened hard.
I see a little boy that never grinned at me.
I see the more hopeless the older children get.
I see a high school boy that came to our door come early November that we fell in love with.
He wanted to rake leaves + God wanted to work on all of our hearts. We talked with him, we silently worked with him, we gave him cookies, and we prayed with him. Come the next day he came back to say good-bye. The young man only stays somewhere until his foster parents just got tired of him. He had been rejected and put into 40+ homes since he was five years old because his mom and dad had 'issues'. When he walked away from our front door... he reached the sidewalk... he looked back at me... and I waved... as did he. He was an answer to prayer, the Lord did so much through him. My tears welled and spilled over when we reached the house of God come mid-day on a Wednesday. I cried.
I cried for him. I forgave Adam and Eve. Again.
Because they came into the world, sin entered. I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the same thing that Eve did... I'm saying that they were the ones that began this domino effect and it makes me stinkin' furious.
Without them Newtown wouldn't be grieving. Without that ugly serpant we wouldn't have lost babies that are taken too early in our eyes from this world. Without the evil one we wouldn't have abortions... or broken marriages... or arguments... or ungratefulness... or pride...
But we do.
So, what do you do when we are faced with this spiritual warfare day in and day out?
Christmas will end soon. 2013 is coming.
Just because Christmas is ending doesn't mean our hope runs out or our kindness has to dwindle.
We submit to God. Because praying is not nothing... trusting in God is not nothing... resting in Him is not nothing... being still and knowing is not nothing...
So, that's what we do. We give baths, we rub backs, we breathe deep, we tense up, we snore loud, we brew coffee, we get out of bed, we trust God, we love Him, we pray hard, we pray big, we send e-mails, we love loud, we laugh loud, we hate little, we take rests, we work hard, we give glory.
For He is our Peace.
He is our Father.
In a world of hopelessness...
I see her smile + giggle... I smile even though her future is unknown, because she needs some hope. So, I held a fatherless child... spinning that Princess in a foreign land hoping that eternal life would be her inheritance.
I won't nail it down for you, but the bottom line is: Death is a reality, but we have a good Hope. We have a better Hope. His name is Jesus.
And today we celebrate His birthday. In a world of hopeless situations and fatherless children...
I smile, because coming in a manger as a stranger to a tree to a throne... He has overcome it all.
Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Your Peculiar Treasure.
P.S. Stay tuned for my next blog post about 'messy Christmas'! :)