Friday, June 21, 2013

unbelief & trusting.

If all of you had been around me at all today you probably wouldn't have been interested in coming clicks within more so called 'insight' from me.

I'm stressed. That is entirely an understatement.

I'm stressed about the summer, about making the most of my time, & I wish I could be two places at once.

Last night when I was typing out my second journal of the day due to needing my thoughts recorded faster than the pen could write I completed the thought that this stress is unbelief. I am not trusting God with how He is going to move this summer--WHEREVER I am. I have to remember that if He wants to accomplish something in my life, distance & lack of time will certainly not be the least bit of a barrier.

Oh, to have childlike faith in days like these.

In the midst of spontaneous tears, much needed cups of coffee, rants that only Emilee can justify, all of these prayers with loose ends... this is my June 20th conclusion...

Jesus doesn't always give us answers, He gives us affirmations to give us hope for the answer. The answer shall surely come, but for now He reminds us of His presence & the people He has intricately placed into our lives for such a beautiful time as this. Sometimes these affirmations come in little ways, but nevertheless they are big in your heart. He knows that & He delights in seeing you smile for the first time after a lot of sadness. Jesus delivers those sighs of relief personally. He knows my love languages the best because He is Love. I'm overwhelmed in the best way.

Secondly, while I was taking a hot shower to drain some of my clouded thoughts I had my Hillsong playlist going in the background. I heard the Desert Song & stopped in my tracks at the lyric, "No weapon formed against me shall remain..." During 'big trials' I go to that song to mentally put my armor on. What is wrong with that sentence? Only during 'big trials'.

What if we took our desperation for Jesus in trials into our daily unbelief?
What if we sang that lyric in the face of every insecurity? ...even when no one sees but Jesus.

Life would change. This I challenge you with.

In the trenches with you. Praying this blesses somebody.

Abba, we need You. We belong to You. Here am I.
Guide us in all of these things, draw us closer to Your heart, & string
all of these details according to Your will. Bowing my head in trust.

I got treasure up in heaven; I got dirt all over me,

P.S. I'm so grateful He uses days like these to turn into a blessing even in ways that I can't fathom, but is anyone else grateful that this day is coming to a close? It has ended on a splendid note, but I am ready for the mercy morn. :)

My prayer, anthem... LOVE THIS SONG.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

saying yes.

Last week in the middle of VBS our high school girl's Bible study started. Officially, though, yesterday was our first day of digging into our book titled, "What Happens When Young Women Say Yes To God" by Lysa TerKeurst. In this first chapter she shared the prayer that she prays every morning before getting out of bed... here it tis:

God, I want to see You.
God, I want to hear You.
God, I want to know You.
God, I want to follow hard after You.

It may seem very vague, but yesterday we talked about those seasons in life where we have to add to that prayer "I WANT TO WANT..." Today, that was my prayer that I wrote in my journal before my day had taken it's course. I've been out of it, especially today, and I have been asking for compassion in the toughest, easiest-to-get-angry areas. Hence, at least for now, I pray that I would want to want those things. It doesn't mean I don't love Jesus, it just means that I need to consistently continue to refocus my eyes.

Lysa had us write down two ways that we were going to practically say yes to God in the next week... & these were mine.

  1. Relaxing my to-do list for my glory-to-God list.
  2. Encouraging others even when I don't feel encouraged.
So, in my unexplainable unencouraged state, I finished some projects & asked the Lord to lay someone on my heart to serve & encourage somehow. What did I want to do with the house to myself? Continue reading in my room, browsing Pinterest, and take a nap. That's what I wanted, but it wasn't settling well with my heart. I asked the Lord to continue to lay someone on my heart as I finished up my {praise Jesus!} short to-do list for the day and soon came to the conclusion & called her up.

Who was she you ask? Well, she's human & she loves Jesus. I have been so blessed to spend time with that wonderful woman more lately & she couldn't escape my mind this afternoon.

Within an hour I had a date with her sweet kiddos while she cleaned the momentarily quiet house. I spent the afternoon running through sprinklers, giving forgiving hugs, and praying that I was being a blessing.

Your yes might not look the same, but I know that both parties came out for the better after the afternoon I had just because I listened. Maybe she only cleaned, & maybe all I really did wasn't all that great, but maybe, just maybe, we all felt more encouraged afterwards. I did have to come home & unwind due to my physical-cold-staggering self, but I wouldn't have traded even that sweet afternoon for anything.

I don't know what your daily yes looks like, but the possibility of yours & the anticipation of my minute-by-minute continuing saying yes excites me.

Regardless of the truths in the book we're going through, I'm loving spending time with these girls and my mentor whom is leading it. {Oh, did I ever announce my high school youth group incoming? Oops. It's on my writing list, trust me!}

So, dear Peculiar Treasures, learn to listen, because when you say yes nothing can beat following hard after Him in every single tiny way.

In Abba,

Examine carefully every little act of His life, and every trait of His character, and He is as lovely in the minute as in the majestic. --Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening.

Monday, June 10, 2013

reasons why i love coming home.

My fam & I went to the Rhubarb Fest this weekend. It was a good little visit, but I am always ready to come home. Thankfully, though, that used to not be the case. We used to LIVE for short vacations and now we welcome them, but love our home... & that has not always been the case.

  • Since I have limited WiFi & not my usual apps & websites that I'm checking up on often at home, trips are usually quiet social media wise. Hence, when I come home I have a lot to update & a lot of friends to catch up with. That may seem strange, but it's a perk of finally entering our driveway.

  • I got to see my best friend, Chloe, for the first time in weeks. We went to our town's Snow Cone Central & headed to a drive-in movie at our youth group. Pure happiness.

  • Seeing your town coming closer after a day full of fun, but weary traveling.

  • The feeling when you walk in the back door.

  • When your bags are unpacked & all your new treasures have found a home.
I know there has been many more reasons than those rolling through my mind, but... it indeed was a beautiful day, but an exhausting one. So, logging off for now...

Hoping to come back soon & very soon.

In Abba,