Friday, June 21, 2013

unbelief & trusting.

If all of you had been around me at all today you probably wouldn't have been interested in coming clicks within more so called 'insight' from me.

I'm stressed. That is entirely an understatement.

I'm stressed about the summer, about making the most of my time, & I wish I could be two places at once.

Last night when I was typing out my second journal of the day due to needing my thoughts recorded faster than the pen could write I completed the thought that this stress is unbelief. I am not trusting God with how He is going to move this summer--WHEREVER I am. I have to remember that if He wants to accomplish something in my life, distance & lack of time will certainly not be the least bit of a barrier.

Oh, to have childlike faith in days like these.

In the midst of spontaneous tears, much needed cups of coffee, rants that only Emilee can justify, all of these prayers with loose ends... this is my June 20th conclusion...

Jesus doesn't always give us answers, He gives us affirmations to give us hope for the answer. The answer shall surely come, but for now He reminds us of His presence & the people He has intricately placed into our lives for such a beautiful time as this. Sometimes these affirmations come in little ways, but nevertheless they are big in your heart. He knows that & He delights in seeing you smile for the first time after a lot of sadness. Jesus delivers those sighs of relief personally. He knows my love languages the best because He is Love. I'm overwhelmed in the best way.

Secondly, while I was taking a hot shower to drain some of my clouded thoughts I had my Hillsong playlist going in the background. I heard the Desert Song & stopped in my tracks at the lyric, "No weapon formed against me shall remain..." During 'big trials' I go to that song to mentally put my armor on. What is wrong with that sentence? Only during 'big trials'.

What if we took our desperation for Jesus in trials into our daily unbelief?
What if we sang that lyric in the face of every insecurity? ...even when no one sees but Jesus.

Life would change. This I challenge you with.

In the trenches with you. Praying this blesses somebody.

Abba, we need You. We belong to You. Here am I.
Guide us in all of these things, draw us closer to Your heart, & string
all of these details according to Your will. Bowing my head in trust.

I got treasure up in heaven; I got dirt all over me,

P.S. I'm so grateful He uses days like these to turn into a blessing even in ways that I can't fathom, but is anyone else grateful that this day is coming to a close? It has ended on a splendid note, but I am ready for the mercy morn. :)

My prayer, anthem... LOVE THIS SONG.

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