Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Jesus in disguise.

''ever get something in your head//it's nothing you've heard, or something you've read//ever had a cut, but you never saw a blade//brought to your knees, but you never prayed....''
''ever feel like you've been somewhere before//you hold the key, you know which door//speak the word your lips have never known//because your heart told you so''
It is the wierdest and best feeling ever. Although I have feeled it in many situations...
countless moments... ''it'' showed up in Uganda.

I remember walking slowly from my bedroom inside New Hope's guesthouse into our living room making myself imagine the United States on a map... In my mind I would spin the globe to the other side of the world. It was my way of savoring that moment. I had to remember where I was and how God brought me there. It was so...  right. I felt at home. I didn't feel like I was in the Africa that everyone tells you about. I didn't feel like I was in a Lion King commercial the whole time. It was not what I expected... in the best way and also in the worst. Culture shock happened more coming back to the States then it did in Africa... His preparations were marvelous. Marvelous.

I felt at home. I felt safe. God has placed me right here for a reason, but He also sent me there for a reason. There was no other place that I wished I could be. I savored every minute.

Did I ever get freaked out? Absolutely.

I could count on my hands the moments that I had of fear during our trip.
It was that moment that I held the key... I knew which door... I spoke words my lips had never known... because my heart told me so.

This ''it'' is a beautiful, mysterious, and Divine One.

Jesus... in disguise.
With every ''Hi Muzoongu!'', traffic scare, conversation, showing of affection, prayer, and laugh...
God was working. God was working on my heart. I pray that He was and is working on those
that I became friends with as well. He's not finished with me yet.

At my first concert {2 days before my 10th birthday} while we were living in Mississippi Brandon Heath was a part of Winter Jam's tour that year.
He sang 3 songs before TobyMac/DiverseCity came and delivered their performance. He sang this song called ''Wait and See''. Before beginning the song he said something along the lines of ''God isn't finished with me yet. And I'm so glad that He isn't, amen?!!'' I didn't understand then. All the crowd cheered while silently I wondered-- even if for only a moment. I wanted to be finished. I wanted to know all His mysteries, meanings, and plans for my life. Now, though, I'm thankful that He isn't finished and that I don't know. I wouldn't believe Him even if He told me anyway :) I will enjoy the process... We have to commit to that. Let's commit to seeing our day to day struggles as a process, a sharpening. Find Jesus in it. Let Him reveal Himself to you. To you.

Whether you experience a hug, a word of encouragement, laugh, or not tomorrow.
God is still working in you-- if you open your heart to His mercy and healing.
It's not too late. The pulse of your day can be completely changed by

but we mustn't miss it!

This song, ''Jesus In Disguise'' makes me happy. I first heard it Saturday night on the way home from the Austin's hospital visit and now know almost every word. It brings back memories from earlier this month to years back... When Jesus was in disguise for me. For His kingdom. Moments when I speak, pray, or act and I barely remember anything afterwards. When I know that I know that I know that the Holy Spirit moved. When I get something in my head that I haven't seen or read I shall not ignore it. Jesus may be in disguise. His Spirit just may be woven into every passion, tear, and shout of laughter. So, let's not ignore. Don't miss it by sitting on the sidelines.

I didn't feel like every laugh, tear, and step was significant in Uganda. Yet, somehow Jesus used it. In spite of our fears and failures... He wants us. He chooses us. He is for us.

Jesus, use us. Move within us. Shower Your love on us. Lead us.

Over and out.
In Abba,


1 comment:

  1. Amen, Emilee, amen. Oh that Jesus would do His perfect work in us!
    That song was so good. Had me close to tears.